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Everything seems so... SIGNIFICANT!
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| well I guess everything can't go according to plan. |
[Jul. 9th, 2009|05:23 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Vision of Disorder - D.T.O. | ] |
My real dad and what I assume to be a half-sister of mine just tried to add me on myspace (and by "just" I mean i discovered this not two and a half hours ago)
I am having a full-on panic attack/breakdown just from acknowledging these people exist |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 7th, 2009|02:37 am] |
as far back as I can remember, everyone was convinced I was destined to see and do great things.
I don't know how, but I intend to live up to it. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 24th, 2009|02:35 am] |
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Last night I managed for just a moment to relax completely enough in my bed to feel completely weightless. It was very sudden. There was almost a snap, and then the sensation of complete freefall weightlessnes. It made me very uncomfortable. |
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| dear diary |
[May. 25th, 2009|02:46 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | purgatory | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | lost | ] |
what the fuck? seriously?
This lack of direction is going to kill me before the smoking will. |
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| So I finally paid for some CD's again |
[May. 14th, 2009|01:18 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  bitchy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Anti-Flag - Angry, Young and Poor | ] |
I went out to purchase some discs I'd previously ...previewed online. Apparently Anti-Flag and NOFX have released albums without me hearing about them semi-recently.
NOFX's "Coaster" on first listen through in critic mode is ... another NOFX album. When you just let it go and stop trying to judge it, it's pretty good overall, as most NOFX albums are. Fat Mike's obviously getting older and less likely to write a completely silly song anymore. I was pretty bummed out by "my orphan year" but they made up for it with "I AM an alcoholic" and "Creeping out Sara."
Anti-Flag on the other hand ... *sigh* THE BRIGHT LIGHTS OF AMERICA ... here we go...
Guys, listen, ok? Are you listening to me, Pat Thetic, and Justin Sane (and the Chris's)? You're not Franz Ferdinand, you're not AFI, please, stop, fucking, going, there. I'm not gonna hold branching out and trying something different against you but this is not Anti-Flag. And for the love of god there has to be some other way to sing your song without repeating the chorus x40. 12 (and a hidden track) song Anti-Flag CD and not a single song under three minutes, with one just a second short of five? Cello backup? Cheesy fuckin Killers-esque 70's rock drum patterns and one chord verses? What. the. FUCK?
I'd suggest keeping your money and not even bother to mess up your torrent ratio on this one. Go listen to it on youtube or something. They're all up there. "The Ink and the Quill (Be Afraid)" makes me especially violent at the thought of them fucking up the next time I go to the show hoping to hear songs that I actually enjoy and getting that instead. "If You Wanna Steal (You Better Learn How to Lie)" (I bet you'll never guess what the chorus is) is particularly Anti-Flagz Ferdinand as well.
You cut me, Anti-Flag, you cut me deep. (But from the sounds of it you were trying to pick up the cutting crowd). For the love of god what the fuck is up with that hidden track? You actually sat down and recorded this, unironically. Give me Underground Network, or A New Kind of Army, I beg you. I'm never paying for a CD I didn't borrow from the internet first again :\
Oh, also, I went to Portland a couple weeks ago and it was fucking awesome. Thievery Corporation may well have played the best live show I have ever seen. I actually cried a few happy tears because it was so overwhelmingly awesome. Also Sean is still awesome and his house is pretty cool, albeit rather tiny for a quarter million dollars in my mind.
I wanna move out there. Someone gimme a job (out there), thanks. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 15th, 2009|11:03 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | A Tribe Called Quest - Can I Kick It? | ] |
Sometimes, especially lately, tardhat doesn't wanna stay digital. I'm working on this.
Seems like, historically, this time of year gets me all upside down. |
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| Life update |
[Mar. 11th, 2009|11:20 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Squarepusher - Ultravisitor | ] |
still not dead yet |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 25th, 2008|10:21 pm] |
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And a pleasant obligatory secular gift/guilt day to you all |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 27th, 2008|11:33 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Apoptygma Berzerk - Starsign | ] |
It's also important to remember not to become the storm now matter how much you want to. I don't imagine it'd help anything.
In other news the hair's gone again. Gotta cut something, may as well be hair. |
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| I never was any good at allegory. |
[Nov. 25th, 2008|11:03 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Gnarls Barkley - Crazy | ] |
Waiting out the storm does not guarantee that you will not be swept away in it and drown. There are no guarantees. Some times the best course of action really is just to jump in and let the current take you. Standing on your roof and watching the cars float by may feel safe. But in doing so you never thought about your foundation washing away and you wind up in it anyway, against your will and without a plan. Your perceived safety safety was an illusion.
The foundation swept from under you, you cling to what you can to stay afloat and become angry at the others who still have a roof to stand on, a home to return to when it all passes.
You thought it'd always be there; another storm meant little. You could return to your comforts and familiarity soon enough.
Now you're homeless and dangerously close to being lost at sea. |
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| heh |
[Nov. 19th, 2008|10:20 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Converge - Jane Doe | ] |
If I'm supposed to be so smart, why don't I ever know what I want until I know I can't have it? |
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| Not to jinx it, but |
[Oct. 8th, 2008|01:10 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Ozomatli - Cumbia de los Muertos | ] |
life is really a lot better.
All it has really taken is simple shit like answering "good, actually" instead of "enh, alright" to "hey how you doin'?" Or just reminding myself once in a while that life is pretty good and wherever I am, I put myself there; and where I want to be, I'm going to put myself there too.
It's only taken about 26 years to really understand accountability. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 25th, 2008|08:47 pm] |
I've noticed the distinction between my friends that crack me up and the ones that make me laugh is more defined as time goes on.
Cheers to the ones who crack me up. |
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| Last night a DJ attempted to save my life and found I was not in quite enough danger to warrant such |
[Apr. 11th, 2008|05:35 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  listless | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | High Contrast - Essential Mix 10/07/2007 | ] |
My skin doesn't fit quite right lately.
I can't sleep well.
Nights laying in bed are haunted by memories of California and anxiety remembering my uncle, Dane.
Laying in bed listening to the October 2007 High Contrast essential mix, Imogen Heap – ‘Headlock’ [High Contrast Rmx] came on and stuck with me in a way most DnB tracks can't
"You've been walking,
You've been hiding,
And you look half dead half the time.
Monitoring you, like machines do,
You've still got it I'm just keeping an eye.
You know you're better than this
Can't make a start, got your heart in a headlock,
but I don't believe any of it.
You say too late to start, with your heart in a headlock,
You know you're better than this"
edit:
Matrix & Futurebound – "Family" Nu: Tone & Logistics remix is the song directly after the previously mentioned one, and proved itself appropriate also
I love my mom even if I don't like her much a lot of the time when she's on her tirades.
Wandering upstairs, I found my mom asking me what's going on, to which I replied "nothing, I'm just lost." She knew exactly what I meant and we had a half hour talk about it and ways to help find me.
For the record this mix is one of my most listened to tracks according to last.fm. Considering it's two hours long, that kind speaks for itself on how good I think it is and you should find it. |
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| can't have a cake without icing |
[Jan. 15th, 2008|04:07 pm] |
also I'm fired over missing time from having my car totalled and illegal to drive while the insurance company only today got me ON THE WAITING LIST for a rental, which I should have tomorrow
every year right before my birthday I lose my job for stupid shit I can't control
I was inches from getting my life on track, too |
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| fffffffffffffffff |
[Jan. 14th, 2008|11:39 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  crushed | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Ignite - Sunday Bloody Sunday | ] |
total loss
so long, first car
... |
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| seems half my friends took this test so whatever... |
[Sep. 29th, 2007|09:34 pm] |
The Boy Next Door Random Gentle Love Dreamer (RGLD) Kind, yearning, playful, you are The Boy Next Door. You're looking for real Love, a lot like girls do. It might not be manly, but it's sweet. We think the next three years will be very exciting and fruitful ones for you. Your spontaneous, creative side makes you a charming date, and we think you have a horny side just waiting to shine. Or glisten, rather. You enter new relationships unusually hopeful, and the first moments are especially glorious. If you've had some things not work out before, so what. On paper, most girls would name the Boy Next Door as their ideal mate. In the real world, however, you're often passed over for more dangerous or masculine men. You're the typical "nice guy:" without just a touch of cockiness, you're doomed with girls. A shoulder to cry on? Okay, sure. But never a penis to hold. More than any other type, Boys Next Door evolve as they get older. As we said, many find true love, but some fail miserably in the search. These tarnished few grow up to be The Men Next Door, who are creepy as hell, offering backrubs to kids and what not. Your exact male opposite: The 5-Night Stand  Deliberate Brutal Sex Master Always avoid: The Nymph (DBSD) Consider: The Maid of Honor (DGLM), The Peach (RGLM) | Link: The Online Dating Persona Test @ OkCupid - free online dating.
My profile name: : tardhat |
too true. too painfully true on a couple things listed. (a few of you will pick them out) |
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